It Is What It Is

He who indulges in empty fears earns himself real fears.

Seneca

The universe seldom give us everything we want, but it always seems to provide a means to get what we need.

You didn’t have a choice of where you started in life. You got the hand you were dealt and you had to make it work for you. If you’re lucky, you may get a second chance at times—more often than not, you won’t.

It’s helpful to remember that though we do not have complete control over our own life, we can control our response to the experiences we’re given.

Nature isn’t concerned with the individual. You’re one of billions, and there is no cosmic scheme to guide you toward fantasies of destiny or illusions of everlasting happiness. You are the source of your own inspiration or defeat.

You could always lie down and wait for better days to come your way—but they likely won’t. You could also recognize that there is no universal agenda holding you back—you may face obstacles, but you are also not destined for failure. Somewhere, between the obstacles beyond our control and the random luck that makes some moments pass by with ease, is the fallacy of Fate. It’s the lie we tell ourselves when our hardships are greater than our resolve to overcome them or the dream we long to believe that emboldens us to grasp for more when our blessings are at their height.

In then end, there is really only one agenda holding you back—yours. It’s your prerogative to decide how you wish to frame your life.

  • Are you a victim of your experiences or a hero determined to overcome them?

Everyday we can find ourselves in a sea of endless possibilities. Somewhere a tempest is brewing, and it is only a matter of time before it finds its way to us. What are you going to do when disaster or hardship finds you?

  • Will you do nothing and hope for the best?
  • Will you prepare for the worst and be content to face whatever you find?
  • Do you give up and throw away everything because you can’t have it all?

Resiliency is Preparation in Practice

Even in harsh circumstances you can thrive.

There is wonderful display of vibrant bromeliads at the Dallas Arboretum that quite poignantly capture this idea. Despite being kept on a rock wall, the plants thrive with the tender care of their keepers.

This is an appropriate metaphor for your own success. You can thrive in any circumstances if you mindfully care to your own affairs.

  • There will be tragedies.
  • There will be hardships.
  • There will be injustices.

You can, however, choose to persevere and be resilient in the face of such difficulties. You have to recognize your personal responsibility to be the keeper of your own success. You must inspire, nurture and care for yourself. There’s no guarantee anyone else will.

We All Have Limits

Hippocrates, after curing many diseases, himself fell sick and died.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

It’s important to remember that we all have limits. At some point we’re going to find ourselves in a moment where we just can’t give any more of ourselves. We’ll continue to do our best, but our “best” simply won’t be good enough. Our failure will be certain before we even have a chance to change the outcome.

Don’t surrender in these moments. Don’t despair. Failure is just as much a part of life as success. Accept the limitations that bind you, and carry on content in the knowledge that you will nevertheless do your part. This is how you approach failure with both wisdom and grace.

If you find it hard to accept failure as a possible consequence of even the best-lived life, take a moment to reflect on our lives in relation to the passing of time.

We don’t expect our life to go on indefinitely. We accept that at some point our life will end as a natural part of the process of living. Yet, we struggle to apply that same principal of finality (a type of natural fatalism) in other aspects of our life. We try and hold on to this illusion of control, but the truth is we have very little control over anything.

We all have an expiration date. As we age, we can become keenly aware of it. That doesn’t mean we give up. Time is a gift. It allows us to put everything else into a shared perspective. If we have to say goodbye tomorrow, then how do you feel about the day you just lived?

  • Did you share love or spread gossip?
  • Did you help a stranger or buy a latte?
  • Did you make the world a better place?
  • Did you even try?

Perspective can keep us both honest and focused on something other than ourselves. Accept that gift and use it to change the world—build bridges, tear down walls, mend the broken—the point is you can make a difference today even if you can’t fix it all. Famine, disease and poverty won’t disappear overnight. You’re not going to defeat every obstacle you face today, but you can start chipping away at them.

If we broaden our perspective we can apply this same strategy to our struggles, our business problems and those seemingly insurmountable obstacles. There is no real difference between them. Our obstacles aren’t really obstacles, they’re an opportunity to reflect on our limitations and learn how to anticipate and prepare for failure.